Relationships
How Dating App Helped Me Find Love In Real Life
It’s not what you think
As a shy girl since young and sometimes labeled as unapproachable due to my resting bitch face, it was not easy for me to make friends with the opposite gender, let alone dating a guy. Hence, I daydreamed a lot, waiting for the one to arrive, and he never comes upon… Until I decided to do something about it.
I started using dating apps in the last year of my university year, and it changed my life. More accurately, it made me understand myself, love and relationships better so that I did not miss the one when I met him in real life later on.
And here are the 5 things that I learned after being on dating apps for a while:
- Know what you like and what you don’t like
- Understand your attractiveness
- Be open and genuine will benefit you
- Communication is key
- Good things take time and effort
Know What You Like and What You Don’t Like
By exposing yourself to a wider group of people other than your own social circle, you get to meet people who you might never talk to, if not for a dating app. It will help you discover what you like and dislike better.
Our surroundings like the culture and entertainment industry influenced us to look for certain qualities like a good look, fame, money, and etc. But after a few dates with people you connect via dating apps, you might eventually figure out the standard that you used to hold onto doesn’t matter as much.
For example, you like money but you wouldn’t date this wealthy guy in front of you because you were put off by how he picked his teeth using a fork in public. Another example, I realized I got really uneasy and insecure when my date didn’t text me often enough. This is when I realized dating app is the worst place for me to find my man as physical interaction matters a lot to me in order to build trust and intimacy.
The more people you meet, the puzzle of your suitable partner will gradually be solved.
Understand Your Attractiveness
Now, you have figured out which characteristics or appearance are plus points or red flags. The next step is to understand yourself better. What about you that makes people like you and what put people off?
Putting ourselves on any dating app helps you understand better who gets attracted to you and who is not. After multiple interactions with many people which include your ideal partner, you might discover that who gets attracted to you is totally not your type, and who you really like just don’t seem into you at all!
Don’t be shocked, it’s a discovery path as not all of us are as attractive as Keanu Reeves. But don’t fret, everyone can definitely find someone who suits them, we just have to either adjust our unrealistic expectation or work on ourselves.
Be open and genuine will benefit you
Some people, especially women would think that men should be the one who shows interests first, initiates conversation, and plan dates. But let me tell you it’s not true, in fact, the one who is genuine and courageous is going to benefit in the long run.
Let me tell you why. The faster you know somebody is not that interested in you as you are in them, the faster you can cut loss and move on. Don’t linger around the wrong person because it stops you from getting to the right person one!
The person who really treasures you will appreciate what you being genuine and not afraid to show your interest.
Communication is key
A lot of people who are in love fail this, and eventually, they grow apart and fall out of love. It’s easy to give up and turn our back than to stick around and give our best. Why? Because it makes us feel uneasy and vulnerable.
What I learned while using dating app is that it makes me communicate more. When you don’t meet another in real life that frequent, you have to really put the effort into communication. Share about own feelings or day-to-day life and listen to others patiently. By taking on a few difficult topics, you can understand another person more easily.
Good things take time and effort
So after 3 months of being on dating app, I met some genuine guys and some weirdos, and yes I did not meet my boyfriend there. But guess what? It helped me understand myself better and what kind of partner and relationship suits me. Moreover, it made me treasure my current relationship more.
So, I would say use dating app as a platform to equip yourself better for love life instead of a must-place to find your love. You might find him/her there or other places, who knows?
Eventually, I got myself a relationship which I’m currently contented with. All the detours I had gone through during dating app time makes me understand good thing does take time and effort. Likewise, isn’t it the same as other aspects of life? :)
Have you used a dating app before? How has it impacted you and your love life? Comment below!
